Writing (philosophy) and Midwifery

The more I spend time writing (philosophy), the more I realize that ideas have a life of their own. Awareness of the thoughts in my mind initially give me the confidence that I know exactly what to say. Yet when I begin to write, words fumble, thoughts do not fit, and ideas are simply lacking. I have to endure the process of experiencing gaps of thought as I desperately try to fill the space between them. This is excruciating since you come face to face with a sense of absence and even inadequacy which you were blissfully unaware of before. One simply perseveres in waiting, until a sense of order in ones thought emerges and ideas I have not known before, as if in some mysterious way, gets articulated. No wonder Socrates compares philosophizing to midwifery. It is often a long and painful process of giving birth to ideas that cannot be achieved in an instant. But with some amount of luck and perseverance, it becomes an experience of discovering aspects of ourselves that brings incomparable fulfillment.